Feeling never good enough was blocking me from living

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On my healing journey not feeling good enough has been a real struggle for me. No matter how many approvals, recognitions and even awards in my professional career I would get, that feeling wouldn’t change. It is like one of my core programs and to reprogram it has been taking me years and honestly, I am still not feeling 100% good enough … maybe like 81% would be a correct number to describe it.

And I am so pleased with myself that from 0% I am today at 81%. However, it didn’t happen from one day to another it took me over 10 years to be where I am now in this state of being. I am grateful that when I don’t feel good enough, I can understand now that this is my currently healing mind pattern and that it does not define me. In truth, ‘not good enough’ doesn’t exist, and to get to the point where we no longer feel that way and instead, we feel aligned with our true self and therefore feeling I AM good enough, is a huge blessing. The reasons why we might feel that way will differ from story to story but again we can probably find the roots in our childhood, in the events from the past which left us traumatized. The reason why is not as important as the determination not to be a slave of this mind program and to not identify with this thought. You are an infinite being. Once you decide to stop this torture, you might remember significant times in your life which made you feel that way. When you start remembering all these events or one, allow yourself to feel the pain and any other emotions. Let yourself cry, laugh… express whatever is coming through you. When you are ready you will move on at your own pace towards healing the “never good enough” mind trick in small but brave steps. There is no need to rush, take your time. Healing is never about speed but about depth.

Have you ever felt blocked from living the life you want by feeling not good enough?

Well, I certainly have. I avoided many things in my life in false ego beliefs about myself. I literally felt paralysed to express my creativity, my skills and talents.

For example:

I am not good enough say this or that, who would want my opinion?! I am not good enough to share my philosophy, ideas, inspirational thoughts…. There are so many amazing people out there already doing everything, why would I even try, anyway I am not good enough to succeed…blah blah.

The feeling of not being good enough can be also initiated by comparison to others.

Let me tell you this. LIFE IS NOT A COMPETITION. We cannot compare ourselves to other people and to what they are doing or not doing. We are all unique with beautiful ways of personalised expression. No one is better or worse than you are. We are just all different and that is amazing. This is what we have to embrace.

I have been writing for many years to myself and really wanted to share it with others because I had this little inner voice telling me that it could possible help people who might go through the same or similar things, but unfortunately, I couldn’t because my fearful mind won the battle with my heart which was suggesting this step.

Until recently it was true, I felt this weird block within me. Now, I fully feel that I am SO GOOD ENOUGH to live freely with an open heart and open mind and express myself in many creative ways. I AM GOOD ENOUGH to be my true and authentic self.

And you know what? If I could change my good enough mindset, you can too. Moreover, if you know you are good enough, then automatically you know what you deserve …. You deserve to be healthy, happy, cheerful and to enjoy life!

With all my love,

Simi

 

Let´s start with acceptance

These past few months I felt very stressed and insecure. I was always struggling with decision-making and in this period of time it was essential to make huge decisions which would impact on my life in long-term and to be completely honest I truly dislike this feeling of pressure especially if the decisions are linked with fear of the unknown. I guess I always wanted to make perfect choices and to be my best self and never make mistakes, which is obviously impossible. I was so scared of failure from an early age. I actually created this inner critic personality of me being so hard on myself. The roots of my fears and insecurities are like for most people, in my childhood. When I was growing up, everything that I did was never good enough and I still struggle with this from time to time and not by being criticized but others but myself.

All of these feelings I used to have as a child made me feel like I had to try so hard to be perfect otherwise I would not be good enough and therefore not loved and every child wants be loved right? Well everyone…every single person wants to be loved. And it created this fear in me of making bad decisions and failing badly which would mean that I am worthless and useless. I took a massive leap on my journey several years ago to heal my wounds and I can tell you that healing was painful but incredible. I sometimes feel those feelings return when my vibrations are low and I am tired, but it is nothing compared to how I used to feel.

What is helping me when I feel like this?

When I struggle with stress or some painful emotions, the first significant action I feel is helping is to come back to myself to present moment and to accept everything how it is. Acceptance is number one key to healing. It is very important to not fight your feelings but instead accept them. Accepting the pain, disappointment, vulnerability, feeling incapable, anger and all the struggles you might feel. Acceptance will create this beautiful space in your heart for love and gratitude to step in.

Acceptance also brought so much wisdom into my life. Since then my life transformed in many ways. No one can be perfect, which means that perfect – perfect doesn´t exist. We will make mistakes and we will feel from time to time struggling, stressed, insecure and useless BUT that is absolutely okay. To feel pressured and scared when making decisions is completely alright. None of these feelings define us or it doesn´t mean that we are less or that we failed in any way… No matter what, we are important, worthy and needed in this world otherwise we would not be born here, and we all deserve love and compassion.

Accept everything that is coming up with deep breaths in and out. By accepting and being in the present moment, which means to be aware of your body instead of being lost in the thoughts, will bring you peace and maybe even so needed answers to your life.

And even if you find yourself struggling with acceptance as such… just accept that you maybe cannot accept something you are going through today but remember tomorrow is also a day.

Be gentle to yourself always.

With all my love,

Simi